The Easy Way Out

[Osk]

If there is anything that pisses a Post-Op off most is hearing someone say that having bariatric surgery is “The easy way out” of obesity.   What does that mean?   

Okay, yeah, I suppose someone could eat right, exercise and lose all the weight.  People do that.   But realistically, these people are not the norm.  The commitment required to do that can be called “soul crushing”.   Most people do not have the time or money to become totally focused on eating right and working out.  Yes, celebrities can get in amazing shape quickly, but they can afford trainers, chefs, dieticians and can dedicated X number of hours per day to working out.  Normal people are lucky if they can afford a gym membership and manage to get there 3 times a week.

People make dumb comments.  “Have you tried eating less?”  “Maybe have more salads.”  “Stop drinking soda.”  I remember one genius who said you could lose weight by drinking nothing but hot water.  Yeah, that and maybe dance around with a chicken foot, let’s try that.   

In a way getting bariatric surgery is like joining a monastic order.   It’s a way of life, not a diet.  It’s a difficult path to follow, but a very rewarding one.   It gives your life countless positive things to enjoy, but it demands discipline, sacrifice, focus and determination.  It’s a hard life to live, and it can be lonely.   The world is filled with soda, fast food, sugar, countless assaults from the media.  Most people have options, we have rules. 

If we follow the rules, stick on mission, walk the path set for us then yes, we will be successful.  If we don’t, then we’ll enjoy some time of weight loss.  Some time but not much.  It will be a glorious springtime of health, to be followed by another ice age of obesity.   To me, that seems an even worse sort of hell.  To have been obese, then lose a drastic amount of weight, only to return to the life of obesity?  To forever have that memory of being healthy again, only to have that time in your past.   No, I won’t go quietly into that dark place.   I will walk my path, continue my mission and be true to the lifestyle of this order that I endured a physical ordeal to enter.

But back to the comment, The Easy Way Out…

To me, the easy way out is staying on my couch, opening a bag of chips and playing video games.  The easy way out is Chinese take-out, drive through burgers, buttered rolls, fried chicken and sizes like 1X, 2X and 3X.  I lived that life, and yes, it was easy.   It was easy just to eat.   It was hard to walk around, to be accepted socially, to be proud of myself or have any sort of self esteem.  But I was used to all that.  It was the devil I knew, and I lived with it for many years.   That devil would have killed me before my time, smothered me in my sleep under my own weight most likely (I had severe sleep apnea).  I would have died young, obese and ashamed, while my children grew up without a father and my wife raised them without me.  It would have been horrible, but terribly easy to do.   All I had to do was keep doing what I was doing, living my life between my meals, which had always been the focus and high points of my day.

You want to know what’s hard?  Change, Change is hard.   

Getting bariatric surgery is change, physical change coupled with a commitment to a lifestyle change.  The physical alteration is over in 2 hours of surgery, two weeks before to be on liquids, two weeks after to heal.   Maybe 3 months for your body to really be used to it all.   After that, well, after that you start to pay for it out of your own pocket.  It’s like crossing a bridge and then burning it down behind you.   You have NO intention of going back, but you can re-build it if you really want to.  As for me – “ We don’t need no water let the mother-f’er burn”. 

When I hear that comment from someone, or how I took the easy way out, I just smirk.  Those people don’t know me, they don’t see me measure my food, read my labels, ride my bike, lift my weights.  They don’t see me eating soup when other people have burgers.  They aren’t there in the lonely dark moments, the moments of temptation, they don’t see the struggle to remain committed.  Those who know me, who really know me, realize what goes into living this life.   They respect me and my efforts, some comment how they admire my strength.

 “The Easy Way Out” -   Those are words spoken by those trying to rip us down.  Words spoken out of jealousy, out of hate.  They are words spoken by cowards to heroes who fight battles they will never face.   They mean nothing.   We know the truth. 

[Sophia Mcleod, MSPAS, RPA-C]

All I can say is  - Very well said

[David Buchin, MD FACS]

Well done and well written, Bariatric Ambassador!!!

Dr B
 

[Albrightlcsw]

I too have heard people say that having bariatric surgery is an easy way out.  There are subtle insinuations made on television shows like "The Biggest Loser" and in magazine articles where people proclaim that they have faced their obesity "without surgery" and won.    Sure there is something to be said for people who can lose the weight without surgery.  There is also something about a show like "The Biggest Loser" where people can spend hours a day focused on exercise and be taught step by step how to cook and eat in a healthy manner.  I personally could not spend hours in a gym and am not able to afford the luxury of having someone train me on a daily basis.  They have an opportunity.  I have had an opportunity with the surgery.

I remember my first appointment and first meeting with Sophia who told me that surgery was like getting to hit the re-set button.  I remember Dr. Buchin emphazing that surgery is a tool.  When I walked in for that appointment I was ready to hit the road running.  I needed a plan, I had made up my mind I was having surgery and when I make up my mind to do something I make it happen.  It helped so much to have the packet which outlined the steps I needed to take.  I can master tasks.  I went on autopilot, making appointments, keeping them, folllowing up, getting tests when needed.  I was able to muster up the energy because each thing that I accomplished moved me closer to the OR.  In addition to the appointments and tests there is the time spent to mentally prepare oneself for this huge change but the truth is all the research in the world cannot fully prepare anyone for all of the changes and challenges that lie ahead.

Having surgery is not an easy way out. It is a huge decision and having surgery no matter how good the surgeon is always a risk.  When I made the decision to have the surgery I weighed 267 lbs, the most I had ever weighed in my life.  With severe sleep apnea, joint pains and a blood sugar level that was hovering right at the point where a diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes was just one blood test away.  The physical problems did not even compare to the emotional pain.  I was embarassed, ashamed and felt weak.  Nothing I did, nothing I tried helped me to lose weight.  My weight was crushing not only my body but my soul.  I felt I had to do something, even something as drastic as surgery. 

Going through the process of being approved for surgery and even going through the surgery was the easiest part.  Being on the liquid diet was easy although not the most pleasant thing I have ever done.  I didn't have to make choices about what to eat, I had a plan all written out for me.  The more difficult part has been making good choices since I have been off the liquid diet.  Just having my stomach altered is not enough.  I have to do the work to eat healthy, I have to get to the gym.  I now have many of the same choices to make that I was faced with before surgery.  It is hard to say the least.  The fact that my stomach is smaller doesn't stop cravings for some of the foods that I love.  It doesn't help motivate my butt to get to the gym.  Having surgery hasn't been the easy way out, it has been a difficult, life changing decision that will affect me for the rest of my life.  This is a journey and not a race.  Sometimes the challenge can be overwhelming.

Since my first appointment with Dr. Buchin I have lost a total of 55 lbs.  The majority of the aches and pains that I had prior to surgery are gone.  My feet have shrunk, the clothes I wore  prior to surgery swim on me and there has been a sense of being lighter not only physically but emotionally.  People have noticed that I have lost a bit of weight and handling the comments and compliments is a challenge.  I still have the mentality of a fat kid, a fat adult.  I still want to hide behind my oversized clothes.  I have challenges now and ahead of me that all of the research in the world could not have prepared me for.  This was no easy way out, this has been a life changing path I have chosen.  The future depends upon my dilligence and my hard work.  The easy way out is a quick fix, the easy way out is taking the short cut.  Surgery has been neither of those. 

Tammy