So as I posted earlier I received "the date" from Dr. Buchin and Sophie on the 24th of Feb. I was elated. That day I was determined to get something concrete and left feeling fulfilled.... I got MY DATE!!! The feeling was short lived as I then went thru a crazy week of finding out .... no Tony wait you have to get all this other stuff done..... The "date" was just at the time a quasi date, a reservation of possibility. A promise of a probability ... Defiantly maybe!!!!
But as of yesterday the insurance approval has arrived and (big sigh here) now I only need 2 more things....
When I got the message it was a kind of slow rush. Sophie called me and asked if I were sitting down. She told me! The realization slowly came over me. Like slowly lowering yourself into a cold pool. By the time I had hung up the phone with Sophie I was starting to realize what this meant. Kind of like a dog chasing a car. He goes after it with all he's got .... but what to do with it when you catch it? Be happy? Look for the next car?
As this journey moves forward I always find myself at these incredable peaks and valleys. As I hit the peak on 02/24 and then down into the depths the days following... now once again to an even higher peak yesterday. Now for me is when all the doubt starts to creep into my mind. I have been steadfast in all of this. Focused on the goal. Now that it is in sight ....... then?!?!
Then it all starts!!!!!!
Maybe that's the problem with me. I am starting to realize that there is no goal! Only the journey! The journey is the goal!!!!! THE GOAL IS THE JOURNEY!!!!! Still making myself crazy here.
And I'm looking down................................ down..................the long roller coaster ride. Still kind of excited, still kind of trepidatious.....
But very very VERY thrilled to be on the ride.
The feeling of fear and intense euphoria. Who needs drugs?
![](http://So as I posted eariler I recieved "the date" from Dr. Buchin and Sophie on the 24th of Feb. I was elilated. That day I was detirmined to get something concrete and left feeling fulfilled.... I got MY DATE!!! The feeling was short lived as I then went thru a crazy week of finding out .... no Tony wait you have to get all this other stuff done..... The "date" was just at the time a quasi date, a resivation of possibility. A promise of a probility ... Deffinalty maby!!!! ??? :oBut as of yesterday the insurance approaval has arrived and (big sigh here) now I only need 2 more things.... When I got the message it was a kind of slow rush. Sophie called me and asked if I were sitting down. She told me! The realization slowly came over me. Like slowly lowering yourself into a cold pool. By the time I had hung up the phone with Sophie I was starting to realize what this meant. Kind of like a dog chasing a car. He goes after it with all he's got .... but what to do with it when you catch it? Be happy? Look for the next car? As this journey moves forward I always find myself at these incredable peaks and valleys. As I hit the peak on 02/24 and then down into the depths the days following... now once again to an even higher peak yesterday. Now for me is when all the doubt starts to creep into my mind. I have been steadfast in all of this. Focused on the goal. Now that it is in sight ....... then?!?!Then it all starts!!!!!!Maybe that's the problem with me. I am starting to realize that there is no goal! Only the journey! The journey is the goal!!!!! THE GOAL IS THE JOURNEY!!!!! Still making myself crazy here. ??? :PAnd I'm looking down................................ down..................the long roller coaster ride. Still kind of excited, still kind of trepidatious..... :oBut very very VERY thrilled to be on the ride.The feeling of fear and intense euphoira. Who needs drugs?)
