Hi everyone,
This is Day 7 of my "liquid hell." I am feeling lightheaded today. And I honestly didn't think I would make it this far. I can't remember when I was this proud of myself. I have not had one morsel of food. Not a slice of bread, not a cracker, not a piece of cheese, not even a walnut! Amazing! There are days when I am hungry, and days when I am not. Today was a day when I was hungry, and light headed, so it was a little harder. I have noticed a change in my energy level. I am waking up tired and feel tired for the majority of the day. I am taking a multi-vitamin and am having 3 or 4 shakes a day. I am doing the best I can, and I think I have really surprised myself. But, it has been hard.
I have been avoiding food like it was herpes! On Saturday, I chose to walk up and down every aisle of Home Depot for extra exercise. At Aisle 3 I was suddenly overcome by the smell of sausages and peppers...I thought, "perhaps I am about to have a brain seizure?" But then realized that EVERY Home Depot has a Sausage and Pepper stand out front. (A plague on the house of whatever idiot came up with that plan!) I had $54 dollars in my pocket because I have not been spending any money on food. I can't remember when was the last time I had $54 in my pocket! I did a quick calculation and thought, "Wow, I could probably buy 7 sausage and pepper heroes and a couple of cokes with $54....." I left Home Depot as quickly as I could!
I stayed home on Superbowl Sunday and lI eave the office everyday when everyone starts ordering lunch. Yesterday was someone's birthday and a co-worker walked into my office and put a piece of cake on my desk. Not just any cake, but CHOCOLATE cake! I broke out into a little sweat, but politely said, "No thank you. I can't eat that" and handed it back to him. My co-workers were stunned!
But today was a difficult day. Today was different because I could not leave the office during lunch due to a project I needed to finish. Apparently, the night before there had been a sales meeting and my boss catered dinner for the sales staff. So, today there were trays and trays of leftover Veal Parmigiana, Veal Marsala and Penne a la Vodka (and you ALL know how I feel about Vodka! Imagine a food made with Vodka and cream...OMG!!!) All my favorite Italian foods and all FREE.....But, nooooooooo, I couldn't eat any of it and I couldn't even leave the office when everyone was busting out their big ol' plates of food. For an hour I smelled this glorious food, feeling hungry, feeling angry, being busy and not being able to leave. Boy, was I resentful! I made my shake and it didn't help. I ate a sugar-free jello but it didn't help either (maybe if it was smothered with tomato sauce and mozzarella?
) I finally finished my project, grabbed my diet Iced tea and headed out to my car, and stood in the parking lot in the falling snow wanting to scream! When I regained my senses, I headed back into the office. I went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water, and there on the counter was a plate of left over veal parmigiana....lonely, sad, rejected pieces of veal covered in a delicious looking tomato sauce and melted mozzarella. And, in my head, I said to the plate of veal, "Ohhhhh, baby, if you were just mine, I would treat you soooo good. I'd stick you in that microwave and get you all hot....treat you like you should be treated...."
Yes, this is what I have come to. I am propositioning cold plates of meat. Sigh.
So, apparently, I need to either eat or have sex....Poor Dr. Buchin, who knows what he'll be in for after another week of this!
LMNSFAO = laugh-my-no-so-fat-ass-off
Sign me....Crazy-lightheaded-Veee
